‘Lady in the Water’ is magical

eTalk’s Zain Meghji sits down with the spooky cast of ‘Lady in the Water,’ a dark and mysterious mystery from M. Night Shyamalan. He finds out if the cast has found their life’s purpose.

Their lives’ purpose – eh?  You mean, to be their director’s live puppets?

Liam Neeson knew so much when he was playing Qui-Gon Jinn…  He was uncle George’s puppet, for all intents and purposes!  Yeah, I know; that is another story!

But really now, all I could think of, while viewing this interview, was… what a shame that they DYED the natural redheadedness of the actual Lady In The Water – actress Bryce Dallas Howard – for that latest SPIDER-CRAP film, when she was sooooo miscast as the very blonde Gwen Stacy…

Bet you all you would want that they WOULDN’T commit such a crime if miss Howard was playing the part of Mera in some AQUAMAN movie (and, by the way, said movie would not feature an unknown with dark hair and an annoying smirk perpetually tattooed on his face as the lead and title character; Bryce would be playing the Sea Queen opposite a Sea King true to form, in other words blond!  And gruff!  Paul Walker with hair extensions and a beard is more like it – pass it on to your Entourage…)

The Entourage kid (whatsisname again) could still appear in the BIG FILM though (let’s not be like the WB people who held their Smallville boy back and gave a NEWCOMER the prized and touted role of Superguy in the summer film release… hmph!)

I see the Entourage Kid (what IS his name?!?) portraying AQUALAD though (he’s a natural for it; he’s got the afro for it!) – and being the first and, most probably, only real casualty in the epic!

Ah – and I want to see Marky Mark, Alan Moore, Bob Costas, Dave Chappelle, Tim Burton and a few other detractors make "significant cameo appearances" too – being crushed by a huge killer whale, one at a time!  (The running gag factor the film could use…)

It’s either that – or AQUAMAN giving them all a seizure, one at a time, with his "fish talking mental powers" as the detractors call it…!

The first alternative has us going with the "proven" campy approach – the one that made Joel Schumaker’s BATMAN & ROBIN such a kitschy, pathetic instant "unclassic" that everyone except "the refrigerator/terminator" Mr. Freeze aka Ah-nold is utterly ASHAMED to have been a part of…

The second alternative (mental or really telepathic/telekinetic/psychic powers gone WILD AND LETHAL) has us going with the "ATLANTIS KICKS YOU-KNOW-WHAT" and takes no prisoners approach!  It s MY prefered approach too, of course!  After all, there most probably was an ATLANTIS – but there sure as heck is no Gotham City – much less a planet Krypton!

And all this with the enchanting presence of as support from the ravishing Bryce Dallas as… Mera, Queen of the Seven Seas!

(Sea) Food for thought…