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Looking at the big films of 2006

eTalk Daily’s David Giammarco has a sneak preview of the big hits of 2006, including ‘The Da Vinci Code,’ ‘Superman’ and ‘Mission Impossible 3.’

 

Really now… what is so "big" about that short list of titles there? (A list that is missing one "surefire blockbuster" – surprisingly enough – which is "X3"… another movie resting solely upon the shoulders of a single character; and that would be Wolverine! What, you thought the geeky Cyclops would be it? Nah. And people don’t take to angels anymore – so it cannot be Cyke’s fellow original X-Man member, Angel… Nowadays, people want their heroes to look and feel as evil as evil itself… that makes a whole lot sense, doesn’t it?).  

The top three films of 2006, if these predictions are correct, will be as unimaginative as the top 3 for 2005 (which were, in ascending order, Tom Cruise’s remake-of-a-vehicle for himself of… War of the Worlds… Harry Potter’s latest sequel… and the final episode of the Star Wara saga! Gee… that’s all-new, all-original stuff for you… isn’t it?).  So, in 2006, we’ll get… another Tom Cruise vehicle (doesn’t he know he was voted "most annoying star" recently? But, in fairness to it all, he was voted as such because of his RELIGION – and not because of his sorry excuses for contributions to cinematography! Which corroborates my point about angels earlier… indirectly but still…)  after that we get another adaptation of a hugely popular book (mercifully, NOT a Harry Potter book – but The Da Vinci Code is not that much of an improvement… NO) and after that we get a remake… of SUPERMAN?!?

Sheesh.

Any more unoriginal than that and Hollywood will turn into reality TV for the Big Screen…!

Kudos though for the courageous young man who will take up the Big "S" cape and mantle of "the last son of Krypton"…  officially that is (because the hipster they have on Smallville is something… anything… but NOT "Superman"!  Not Superboy either… Super Impostor?  That must be it…)

Surely, the new Superman must know what he’s up against – no, I don’t mean lame-o villainy in the form of Lex Luthor, Brainiac, Mr. Mxyzptlk, The Prankster and (hahahaha) TERRA-MAN… No… I mean the CURSE OF SUPERMAN!

What happened to Kirk Alyn’s career?  It died.

What happened to George Reeves?  HE DIED.

What happened to Christopher Reeve?  Well… you get the picture.

 

It just isn’t worth it really – to risk so much just to bring to life a four-color, tights-wearing, two-dimensional super-hero in a freaking motion picture…

 

Not to mention that Superman sort of ripped off Hercules, Samson, the origin of Moses… and Jesus Himself!

But that is another story…

THE BIG FILM of 2006 – if numbers forbode anything of value with any degree of accuracy – would be THE OMEN 666… simply because it seems to be the time for it!  It will be released on June 6th (the release date will read as… 6/6/6 hence!) and besides… aren’t we in the End Times folks?

Sure looks like chaos out there, to me!

Now THAT is cinematography that MATTERS – in sync with the dire times we live in!  No silly son of creepy Krypton, no bogus code attributed to a famous name of the past and certainly no muties with an unrealistic, improbable and all-around unbelievable "X-gene" can even BEGIN TO COMPARE…!

And comic-book readers should be reading other fare too…!   

 

 

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